Gifts – Pleasure or Curse?

We all have been there; your mother [aunt, distant relative, in-laws] arrives gloating with glee as they bring with them the most amazing gift EVER!! With the greatest anticipation you unwrap and…OH NO! You hide your disappointment with a smile and squeeze out a polite “Thank You”.

And now what? You can’t gift it to anyone you know let alone to a mutual friend or relative. It will be Sods Law that when you take it to the charity shop your mother […] decides to shop just there. And what if you get rid of it and next time she asks where it is?

The last question is easy to answer, it’s a very rude question as this is your home and you decide what to display and what not.

The other question need a bit more thought.

Can you tell your mother […] that you don’t like it? I’m Dutch so I probably will, but that is a blog for another day.

Bearing in mind that gifts are often chosen by what the gifter likes rather than what the recipient would like, the first thing to let go of is your feeling of guilt. Have you ever heard: “with the gift you receive the right of gifting?” This means that’s your right to do with the gift whatever you want.

So here you are with your unwanted gift, what really are your options?

• Exchange – now that’s easy. Love the gift but like it in a different colour or size, go ahead change it
• If you already have the item (or lucky enough to have been gifted it twice), it’s also relatively easy – return one. No need to tell, as the gifters don’t know which one you have kept and which one went back
• Does it come with a gift receipt ? The underlying message says: ”If you don’t like the gift, please exchange it for something you prefer”

 That was straightforward and easy. Let’s move on…

 What if there is no way you can return or exchange it? You can re-gift , but think carefully who to.

• Do you know anyone who would really appreciate this gift? If so, please re-gift but not to anyone in your family or friend group as this might backfire when the original gifter recognises the item
•  If you can’t think of anyone, donate to charity, raffle prize or sell it on the many “Buy, Swap & Sell” platforms – but chose carefully where as you really don’t want to cause upset

 Whatever option you chose, don’t feel bad about it – the gifter’s gesture was one of kindness, surely they meant to give you something you love – so by re-gifting or changing it to something you like, the gesture has been given the meaning it deserved.

Blog originally published here.